Nothing is as terrifying as the thought of our children’s safety being compromised. As parents, this is our main job, to keep our children safe, to protect them from the horrors of the world for as long as possible. However, no matter how hard we try, there are forces in this world that are constantly putting children in danger. This Free Child Safety Kit won’t keep those forces away, but it will help find your child faster should danger ever cause them to go missing.
Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, bad decisions and good, regrets and triumphs. Looking back at my own childhood, I have so much sympathy for what my parents endured. While they were on a journey that took them down a different path than my own jaunt so far, I see many parallels between our lives, our adventures and misfortunes.
I also see many areas that I want to learn from. Not necessarily mistakes that they made, but small divergences from the path I want to remain on, that I hope not to repeat. These lessons are not just from observing my own family and experiences, but from friends and even strangers I have watched along the way.
Knowing how my mind works (meaning it doesn’t) I think it prudent to write down these lessons, these little tidbits of advice for my future self. Seeing as I can barely find the sunglasses on my head…
Remember Your Younger Self
Remember how hard childhood can be, how difficult it is to try and discover yourself and be your own person. Remember that you feared becoming your mother as a teenager….and it’s ok if your daughter feels the same way. Remember that there were days that the world overwhelmed and terrified you to the point where all you could accomplish was curling in a chair to read a book all day, and your son may feel the same way at times and need a video game break. Age changes your memories, it makes certain pieces of your past stronger while fading others. For your own children’s sake, endeavor to remember and to find sympathy in those memories.
establish equality when they Marry/Become Parents
Remember to treat your children and their significant others equally on their big days. Whether this be with wedding planning or baby shower gifts, each day should only be marked by the specialness of the occasion not by how one child was treated differently than another. Find a set of specific gifts to bestow on each child for their first baby, set aside a certain amount of time and money for each wedding…deviating from this path can create bitterness and hurt feelings.
As your children grow older they will become enmeshed in their own lives; time will fly by and they will suddenly realize that they haven’t seen their grandparents often enough. Work, children, and LIFE simply gets in the way. However, when illness strikes, your children will come to visit, they will make the time. Do not shelter them from the facts, let them know what is going on. Tell them if grandma is having tests done or has planned a surgery, warn them of an impending biopsy or worries about grandpa’s memory…You may think you are protecting them by keeping such information private, but all you are doing is taking away valuable time that your children could be making memories, or saying goodbye. Give the information and let your children process it and take steps as they see fit. Have pride and trust in the in people you raised to be able to handle the news and act accordingly.
Love Your Son and Daughter In Laws Like Your Own
Giving your children away to the care of someone else is going to be hard. It’s going to bring tears of joy and sadness as your children create lives of their own with someone else. You may find this even harder if you aren’t a particularly big fan of the person your child chooses for a mate. However, your child loves that person, your child wants them in their lives forever, and one sure way to create a rift between yourself and the life they create is to openly dislike them. Hopefully, you will fall easily in love with the person your child has chosen, but if not, you must rise above your distaste and treat them with respect and care. Make them part of your family, as your child has. Don’t show favorites between your sons and daughters in law, even if you feel them in your heart.
A time will come when your children struggle, when they need your help to pick up the pieces of the life they fought so hard to create. Bouey them, be their rock and give them the support and tools they need to begin again. Give them time and love…but do not be a crutch forever. As much as they need you to pick them up, they also need you to let them go, to force them to live their life alone once again, to make their own decisions, mistakes and bask in their personal triumphs. Do not let them forget to live as much as you may love having them around again, you did not raise them to live in your basement…push them to find their own path once more.
Take Your Grandchildren/Visit Often
Once again, your life will be busy and crazy and it will be easy to let your grandkids grow up too fast with not enough of you in their memories. Take your grandchildren often. Set aside special backyard campouts and days at the park. Take them individually for special alone weekends and big pancake breakfasts where no one tells them they used too much syrup or butter and give them their own can of whipped cream to add as much topping as they would like. Babysit them whenever possible, even if it is inconvenient. Children grow so fast, and you are only getting older, let them help keep you young.
Hopefully you will have LOTS of grandchildren. Make sure that you treat them each equally. Spend time with them all and be sure not to show favorites. Make sure presents at Christmas and Birthdays are both different for each child yet comparable. If you have some grandchildren that live farther away, be sure that you send them small gifts of love to let them know you are thinking of them even as you spend one on one time with those that live closer to you. Call them on their Birthdays and holidays that you miss, Send silly cards for the sake of saying “hi” or “thanks” and always include a big hug or kiss. You won’t be around forever, make your love known now.
Don’t Forget, Everyone is Crazy
And so are you, in your own way. Try to be patient with your family when they drive you nuts rather than driving them away. There will be times when you drive everyone around you nuts as well. Your children will make decisions and act in ways that you cannot understand when they are older, try to remember that you raised them to live their own lives and not simply to abide by how you would live their life. Allow them to make their own mistakes and do not offer judgement, be humble and never jealous when they outshine you. Celebrate their every triumph, even if you do not consider it to be one.
My children grow older with every moment. Soon I will look around and find a quiet house, a clean house that I despise. Hopefully, remembering and abiding by these tidbits will keep my house busy with visits from my grown up babies and the children they have made.
The making of life is an event for celebration and awe. More often than not, however, we become so embroiled in the discomfort that pregnancy brings throughout all 9 months (check out my article “5 Things You Didn’t Expect About Morning Sickness“), that we forget the side effects of baby creation that are pretty amaze-balls! Continue reading “5 Pregnancy Side Effects to Fall in Love With”
I really enjoy anything with ice cream in it. In my opinion, Ice Cream should be it’s own food group!
As a mom and bartender, I also enjoy booze every now and then. Ok, sometimes I NEED the booze after a particularly rough day of 5 tiny heathens fighting constantly!
Thus, in my little world, a Boozy Ice Cream shake is the Bee’s Knees! (I have also included a non-alcholic option at the bottom!) Continue reading “Boozy Irish Shake For St. Paddy’s Day”
Another month has rolled around and we are saying goodbye to February! Which means it is time to introduce March’s featured trainer!
This month I have chosen a woman who has been a personal favorite of mine for over 5 years; Tiffany Rothe. Continue reading “Workout Wednesday’s #9: March Featured Trainer- Tiffany Rothe!”
Babies are always a blessing!
New life, new love, tiny toes….There is nothing about babies that doesn’t make me smile. It’s also so exciting to see the reactions of those you love when you tell them about your coming bundle of joy! Continue reading “Babies Are ALWAYS A Blessing: Smile For The Reveal”
I think by now everyone knows that when your body is healthy your mind will follow. You will be less prone to depression, injury and illness.
Nevertheless, germs are freaking everywhere! Between snotty kids, less than cleanly co-workers, and dirty doorknobs EVERYWHERE, everyone is bound to get sick at some point.
Think you had a hard time motivating yourself to workout when you were well? Try getting yourself geared up for a jog or a jot at the gym with a killer cold!
Here’s the thing though, you NEED to continue your workout routine through the sickness. Not only will it actually help you beat the germs faster, kind of like sweating out toxins, but you will feel better after a good hard routine.
There are, of course, some exceptions. If you are nauseous or, God forbid, have jumped straight into vomiting hell, you get a workout pass. Barfing on the gym floor is bad form.
Also any chest cold that causes a cough hard enough to create difficulty breathing or asthma like symptoms; you can rest on the couch for a day or so. There will be no dying while working out.
Another one to sit out for is a fever. If you are already running hot you should not get your body temperature even higher with a workout.
Everyone else, strap on your tennis shoes and get a move on!
I have done plenty of workout outs where I am forced to pause to blow my nose constantly, or cough up a bit of phlegm mid jump rope. Power through my friend.
Yes, it’s gonna suck some serious arse while you do it, but you and your body will feel better for pushing through the burn.
You also don’t have to do your usual routine on a super sick day. You should absolutely try to, but if you just can’t manage it, take it down a notch. Take a jaunty walk around the block or do a in indoor walking workout like the one below from Jessica Smith.
There are plenty of low impact exercises you can do through illness that will still work your body but make you fell less like you want to die.
Another idea is to simply do a “Bro-Lift” day. Rather than doing high impact HIIT, interval workouts, or compound movements designed to work your muscles while getting your heart rate up, plan on some general lifting moves. Try doing 4 rounds of 25 Bicep Curls, 25 overhead presses, 25 slow squats, 25 hammer curls, and 25 tricep dips (or press backs). Take a good 2-3 minute break in between rounds so your heart rate doesn’t skyrocket.
Don’t get me wrong, this will get your heart going, but it will do so in less of a cardio fashion that can exacerbate a bad cold.
You can also go for a round of good old fashioned Yoga. I’m not much of a yoga fan, myself. I prefer getting my heart up rather than trying to calm it down. However, there was about a week in October of last year where I was wretchedly ill and just couldn’t do anything bouncy, so I gave it a try. I must admit that, though I prefer a different style of exercise, my muscles still got a good push from this form of fitness. The video below was one of one my favorites.
I know you don’t want to focus on fitness during your sickness. However it is important to continue to mold your body. Push yourself through the hard times and you will see results both in your physical strength and your body’s ability fight germs in the future.
In the past two years, as my husband and I have taken our fitness more seriously, we have seen a massive reduction in the amount of illness we contract and also in the time it takes to recover when we do get sick. With 5 kids bringing home nastiness, CONSTANTLY, this is a big win for us.
So grab a box of tissues and your gym bag, it’s “fitness through sickness” time!
The past 6 months, really the last year, has filled America with a certain anger and hatred that I never thought I would see.
I have seen my most tolerant friends attack entire groups of people for not supporting the right person, I have watched strangers spew hatred at each other and seen families let politics come between them.
This is not a political post; I despise politics. I bring it up only because the last year has really made me question humanity; people who decide to create hate over a single mark on a ballot rather judge a person by the content of their character and actions in every day life. I have been sad, and a little scared by how ruthless people have shown themselves to be.
It took a baby and stranger who desperately needed help, to assuage my fears that our country would fall apart based on a vote; that people are more than their political rants and ravings. Continue reading “Sharing Love With A Stranger: Humanity May Prevail After All”