Tidbits To Remember When My Children Are Grown

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Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, bad decisions and good, regrets and triumphs.  Looking back at my own childhood, I have so much sympathy for what my parents endured. While they were on a journey that took them down a different path than my own jaunt so far, I see many parallels between our lives, our adventures and misfortunes.

I also see many areas that I want to learn from. Not necessarily mistakes that they made, but small divergences from the path I want to remain on, that I hope not to repeat. These lessons are not just from observing my own family and experiences, but from friends and even strangers I have watched along the way.

Knowing how my mind works (meaning it doesn’t) I think it prudent to write down these lessons, these little tidbits of advice for my future self. Seeing as I can barely find the sunglasses on my head…

Remember Your Younger Self

Remember how hard childhood can be, how difficult it is to try and discover yourself and be your own person. Remember that you feared becoming your mother as a teenager….and it’s ok if your daughter feels the same way. Remember that there were days that the world overwhelmed and terrified you to the point where all you could accomplish was curling in a chair to read a book all day, and your son may feel the same way at times and need a video game break.  Age changes your memories, it makes certain pieces of your past stronger while fading others. For your own children’s sake, endeavor to remember and to find sympathy in those memories.

establish equality when they Marry/Become Parents

Remember to treat your children and their significant others equally on their big days. Whether this be with wedding planning or baby shower gifts, each day should only be marked by the specialness of the occasion not by how one child was treated differently than another. Find a set of specific gifts to bestow on each child for their first baby, set aside a certain amount of time and money for each wedding…deviating from this path can create bitterness and hurt feelings.

Give Information

As your children grow older they will become enmeshed in their own lives; time will fly by and they will suddenly realize that they haven’t seen their grandparents often enough. Work, children, and LIFE simply gets in the way. However, when illness strikes, your children will come to visit, they will make the time. Do not shelter them from the facts, let them know what is going on. Tell them if grandma is having tests done or has planned a surgery, warn them of an impending biopsy or worries about grandpa’s memory…You may think you are protecting them by keeping such information private, but all you are doing is taking away valuable time that your children could be making memories, or saying goodbye. Give the information and let your children process it and take steps as they see fit. Have pride and trust in the in people you raised to be able to handle the news and act accordingly.

Love Your Son and Daughter In Laws Like Your Own

Giving your children away to the care of someone else is going to be hard. It’s going to bring tears of joy and sadness as your children create lives of their own with someone else. You may find this even harder if you aren’t a particularly big fan of the person your child chooses for a mate. However, your child loves that person, your child wants them in their lives forever, and one sure way to create a rift between yourself and the life they create is to openly dislike them.  Hopefully, you will fall easily in love with the person your child has chosen, but if not, you must rise above your distaste and treat them with respect and care. Make them part of your family, as your child has. Don’t show favorites between your sons and daughters in law, even if you feel them in your heart.

let go

A time will come when your children struggle, when they need your help to pick up the pieces of the life they fought so hard to create. Bouey them, be their rock and give them the support and tools they need to begin again. Give them time and love…but do not be a crutch forever. As much as they need you to pick them up, they also need you to let them go, to force them to live their life alone once again, to make their own decisions, mistakes and bask in their personal triumphs. Do not let them forget to live as much as you may love having them around again, you did not raise them to live in your basement…push them to find their own path once more.

Take Your Grandchildren/Visit Often

Once again, your life will be busy and crazy and it will be easy to let your grandkids grow up too fast with not enough of you in their memories.  Take your grandchildren often. Set aside special backyard campouts and days at the park. Take them individually for special alone weekends and big pancake breakfasts where no one tells them they used too much syrup or butter and give them their own can of whipped cream to add as much topping as they would like. Babysit them whenever possible, even if it is inconvenient. Children grow so fast, and you are only getting older, let them help keep you young.

Be Consistent

Hopefully you will have LOTS of grandchildren. Make sure that you treat them each equally. Spend time with them all and be sure not to show favorites.  Make sure presents at Christmas and Birthdays are both different for each child yet comparable. If you have some grandchildren that live farther away, be sure that you send them small gifts of love to let them know you are thinking of them even as you spend one on one time with those that live closer to you. Call them on their Birthdays and holidays that you miss, Send silly cards for the sake of saying “hi” or “thanks” and always include a big hug or kiss. You won’t be around forever, make your love known now.

Don’t Forget, Everyone is Crazy

And so are you, in your own way. Try to be patient with your family when they drive you nuts rather than driving them away. There will be times when you drive everyone around you nuts as well. Your children will make decisions and act in ways that you cannot understand when they are older, try to remember that you raised them to live their own lives and not simply to abide by how you would live their life. Allow them to make their own mistakes and do not offer judgement, be humble and never jealous when they outshine you. Celebrate their every triumph, even if you do not consider it to be one.

My children grow older with every moment. Soon I will look around and find a quiet house, a clean house that I despise. Hopefully, remembering and abiding by these tidbits will keep my house busy with visits from my grown up babies and the children they have made.

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I’m Not F*$#ing Hormonal!

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As women, we have all heard it: “Is it that time of the month?” “Your hormones are raging!” “Pregnancy must be so hard emotionally with all those hormones” “Watch out, she’s super hormonal right now…”

Well, I’m here to tell you, WE’RE NOT F*$#ING HORMONAL!

You assume that because I am more upset than usual, it must be hormones, or because I yell at you when I would usually just accept circumstances as they are, that I must be mid-PMS or my preggie hormones are raging. Can you guess which finger I’m pointing at you? Continue reading “I’m Not F*$#ing Hormonal!”

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Mother’s Day is For Mom’s: “Pet Mama’s” Move Aside!

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May is just around the corner, and with it comes a day that every mommy looks forward to: Mother’s Day.

Mom’s spend a lot of time doing a lot of thankless tasks throughout the year, we are yelled at by the tiny people we are trying to rear and clean up the same mess 10 times a day simply to do it all again tomorrow.

On Mother’s day, our tiny humans thank us with cards and extra kisses, our spouses shower us in relaxation and breakfast made by anyone but mom.

It’s a wonderful day, just for MOMS. For the women who have created life inside their own bodies or chosen to spend their lives raising children they married into or were fortunate enough to adopt.

We deserve this day.

Which is why, while I search through the card aisle for the perfect card for my own mother, who has put up with 34 years of ME, I get pretty annoyed with the card category entitled “Pet Mom.” Continue reading “Mother’s Day is For Mom’s: “Pet Mama’s” Move Aside!”

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20 Things I Do In A Day To Ruin My Kids’ Lives: Part 1

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While my main goal is to get my children through each day without dying, I apparently am slowing killing their souls with my every action.

The amount of crying, whining, groaning, incessant wailing, and foot stomping indicates that I am constantly working towards their inevitable destruction.

In order to slowly ruin my children’s lives each day, I make them: Continue reading “20 Things I Do In A Day To Ruin My Kids’ Lives: Part 1”

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7 Reasons Nothing Gets Done At My House

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Have you ever tried to finish or even start a much anticipated project and come up against a wall every time to try to start?

I have about 10 million projects around and within my house that I am anxious to complete, or just begin! Yet, there always seems to be something that keeps me from turning my house into the home of my dreams….Let’s start with POOP… Continue reading “7 Reasons Nothing Gets Done At My House”

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5 Pregnancy Side Effects to Fall in Love With

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The making of life is an event for celebration and awe. More often than not, however, we become so embroiled in the discomfort that pregnancy brings throughout all 9  months (check out my article “5 Things You Didn’t Expect About Morning Sickness“), that we forget the side effects of baby creation that are pretty amaze-balls! Continue reading “5 Pregnancy Side Effects to Fall in Love With”

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5 Things You Didn’t Expect About Morning Sickness

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Ah, morning sickness; because labor and delivery are so easy at the end of pregnancy SOMEONE (we won’t name names) decided that us women should have to go through a bit of a rough patch at the beginning of pregnancy to make up for it.

If you didn’t already know, “morning” sickness is a ginormous pile of crap. Whoever came up with that name is a wretched liar and should have horrible diarrhea for a long period of time…like 3 months at least.

Morning sickness is a term that refers to the constant, all day, all night nausea that accompanies the first three months of pregnancy. Glorious. NOT just the morning, people!

Lucky for us, or we would never get pregnant, whoever coined the term “morning sickness” didn’t know what he was talking about. He also forget to mention all the other wonderful things a woman can expect in the first trimester….

  1. Saint Bernard Syndrome- You thought drool would only be an issue when the baby was actually born? Think again and let the water works begin! As if barfing up a storm wasn’t bad enough, you can also expect to excrete massive amounts of saliva that make you want to spit like a camel or,  you guessed it, vomit some more!
  2. Gas- All those hormones rolling around your tummy are not only creating nausea on a massive scale, they are also building up burps and farts that can clear entire rooms! If my husband wasn’t already disgusted with my constant puking and lack of hygiene due to exhaustion, he pretty much wants to sleep downstairs with the noxious fumes my baby filled body can now emit. I must admit, I’m slightly proud….
  3. Pooping Problems- Have you ever had a poop the size, shape, and consistency of a baseball?  Well get ready because horrible constipation is one awesome side effect of the first trimester. Let me tell you, it hurts! It also contributes to extra nausea, cause you’re obviously feeling  just a little TOO good during this period.
  4. The Food Conundrum- When you get the stomach flu, you don’t eat right? Thus, nausea should always mean you don’t want food? Welcome to pregnancy, where if you don’t eat for too long, you get nauseous, if you eat the wrong thing, you throw up, and if you eat too much you barf your guts out. Don’t get too excited when you finally find a food that seems to work for your belly, either….you’ll projectile vomit that right back up tomorrow.
  5. Erratic Temperature Issues I’m freaking freezing ALL the damn time! Even when I have gone through the first trimester in the warm summer months, I have found myself constantly colder than usual. It’s obnoxious! What’s even worse, is if I happen to be able to warm up I will quickly get too hot….           HOT= VOMIT…. FREEZING= SHIVERING= VOMIT….So basically you’re going to be the world’s most miserable wretch for 3 months…YEAY!

With all this to look forward to, it truly is amazing that we ever allow men anywhere near us…until we see an adorable little bundle of pink or blue at the store and we forget the horror our bodies will go through and demand our own bundle IMMEDIATELY!

Morning sickness does have it’s perks….

More Sickness = More Hormones = Healthier Pregnancy

…I guess I can take 3 months of hell to insure a wiggling bundle of happy, healthy baby at the end.

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Workout Wednesday #10: 10 Minute Body Weight Workout

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Welcome to Workout Wednesday #10! I can’t believe we have already made it to March 2017!

Hopefully your fitness goals for this year are coming along nicely! Sadly, my own goals have gone off track a bit as I have found out I am pregnant another baby and have a wretched case of morning sickness that lasts all day! Vomiting and working out are a big ole faux pax so I am taking some time off until the wretching ceases.

However, that doesn’t mean I am stopping the workout motivation! I can’t wait to get back into the fitness saddle so I am keeping up with Workout Wednesday’s!

This week I am bringing you a 10 minute, body weight workout. That means no dumbbells, no kettlebells, no bars. Just you and a tiny bit of your time! Continue reading “Workout Wednesday #10: 10 Minute Body Weight Workout”

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