Sorry (NOT Sorry) I Missed Your Facebook Birthday

Dare To Share!

We’re all adults here aren’t we? Can we agree that, for the most part, that after age 21 our Birthday’s are a day we celebrate quietly with our closest friends and family?

Some of you are glaring at me already…I know who you are, I’ve seen your facebook page, i see your updates and pictures beginning with day one of your birthday MONTH. WTF does that mean?! I mean, I think it’s great that you were born, and you should pour yourself a hefty glass of something alcoholic for making it this far, but I think you love yourself a teensy tinsey bit too much if you celebrate all month! Even a week is too much….You get one day! ONE! You’re mother wasn’t in labor for a month was she? And if we are deciding the length of your celebration based on how long your mom worked to squeeze you out, we should really be celebrating her!

But I digress. If it’s your brithday, Happy freaking Birthday, but don’t expect a facebook post from me!

If we are close enough, or at least related enough, I will gladly contact you via phone -probably just a text cause let’s face it no one likes to talk anymore!- and bestow happy wishes for a wonderful birthday….If we are not that close but I still REALLY like you, I may post on your timeline just to let you know that I’m thinking of you…

Otherwise, I hope you have a great day, but I’m not part of it, and posting on your FB timeline isn’t going to change that!

I get at least 5 notifications a day for birthdays and, to be honest, most the time I don’t even really recognize anyone’s names! I hit DISMISS every single time….HAPPY BIRTHDAY…I don’t really care.

That may seem heartless and mean. But honestly, do you care if one more person posts on your timeline with the EXACT same message as everyone else? Will it make your birthday more special if someone you haven’t spoken to in years writes 13 letters with an exclamation point? Will you feel left out if someone whose posts you scroll by without notice doesn’t post these 13 letters on this particular day?

NO! And you you know why? Because we are freaking adults and this new trend of having everyone you don’t spend time with, talk to, or even think about, post on your FB on your big, fabulous day of birth, is just asinine.

“But, but, but it doesn’t take much time to impart your happy wishes!”

DON’T CARE. It takes SOME time and that’s enough. I either have to drag my butt to the computer and spend five minutes typing a birthday wish to the 8 people born on that day who won’t even notice my lame attempt amongst all the happy thoughts of people they actually care about OR I have to try out the crappy app on my equally crappy phone and spend even more time…

Time is precious my friends. Those five minutes could be the only quiet moments I get in a day…

So, sorry, but not really, that I won’t be acknowledging your birthday on FB…I’m sure you won’t even notice, and that is perfectly normal. For those of you that need 300+ birthday wishes from people you barely recognize and never speak with starting a month before your actual birthday even occurs….YOU HAVE PROBLEMS.

Dare To Share!

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