I have six children, and a very obvious obsession with babies. When we had our fifth we thought our family might be complete. But a year went by and we both felt the tug at our hearts that meant we had more love to give.
All our children wanted another bundle of joy as well, so we went for it. Number 6 came along about six months ago and my husband and I both immediately questioned whether we would truly be happy if this was our last baby.
Will I always wonder what number 7 would have been like? Will I regret never having those first moments again? Never seeing a baby’s first smile? Will I feel empty at night without someone to rock and sing to sleep?
#6 is still just a tiny baby so this decision is in the future….but the cards aren’t off the table.
And that is what I tell people when they ask if we are done having children.
OUR decision hasn’t been made, but apparently everyone else’s has. I can’t tell you the number of times that people reply with, “Oh my goodness! You just can’t have another one!” or “Seriously? Are you nuts?” and “Noooooo, I really think six is enough.”
Are we nuts? A little bit, absolutely. Our family is big and loud and our couch doesn’t fit us all anymore. We fight, we yell, but we LOVE it. And whether or not people think we are crazy, they have absolutely no say in whether or not we continue to procreate. If we want more children it is because we have more love to give, not because we want to irk you with our big ole load of kids at the store.
I don’t know why people think that they can tell other people what to do with such personal decisions, but it makes me want to throw things. Are they being complete A-holes? Or are they, misguidedly, trying to express concern for our emotional well-being and the well-being of our pocketbook?
Whether you have one child and are happy with that number, or eight and don’t believe you’re finished, it’s really no one else’s business what happens in your uterus so please keep your opinions to yourself.
People have gone so far and to suggest that my husband should be kidnapped and dragged into a Vasectomy clinic. Or that I should really go in to get my tubes tied before we end up with more mouths to feed. Does anyone not see how unbelievably rude this is? If I was a crack whore who couldn’t seem to find a condom or my husband was creating children with multiple women, then yes, you may have a point. BUT WE’RE NOT.
We are perfectly aware of the birth control methods out there and have access to them whenever we choose. Our children are raised in a happy and healthy, non-crack-whore home with old fashioned family values and a lot of love. So keep your creepy thoughts about kidnapping in your own messed up little head. I don’t want to hear it EVER again.
Families are not cookie cutters, there is no perfect shape. Your family shape may be different than mine, but our families are still perfect for each of us, still filled with love and laughter and everything in between.
But how will you take care of them all? To this I reply, ” we will figure it out.” We aren’t rich, but neither is money everything in life, like so many people seem to think.
Will we live in a huge house with a bedroom for each kid? Probably not; sharing is caring, after all, and the same applies to bedrooms.
Will our kids have trust funds and college paid for? NOPE!!!! And I prefer it this way. If we won the lottery I would still make my children work for what they want in life. Too many kids have parents that give them everything and work for nothing. My children will work, and they will whine about it, but they will learn valuable lessons and they will appreciate what they have gained from it. Nothing good in life comes for free.
My family is proud and happy. We don’t expect anyone to take care of our children other than us. We will gladly pay the high grocery bills that will come with our children growing bigger and accept that we won’t be able to go out to dinner all the time because of it. I am happy to have “stay-cations” with my family rather than exotic vacations. That is a trade I willingly make for the happiness that comes with so many babies. People may think we are crazy, or that we are missing out on life, but we are so very happy with our life, so who cares how nuts we are?
We aren’t a wealthy family, but we are rich in other ways and if you have something to say about that, please keep it to yourself. Whatever negative comments you have about our family getting bigger, it’s not going to change our final decision, it will only brand you as someone we don’t really want around anyway.