Breakfast Hacks for the Grumpy Mom

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Bonbon Break

For me, surviving the first week of school is a lot about surviving the mornings. I am not a morning person, in fact I mostly just want to torture all you people who wake up with the sun shining out of your asses with sparkles in your eyes. You people make me sick. Thus, school, and the early mornings that come with it, are not my favorite. When the butt crack of dawn calls my name and requires that i get everyone up and at’um and out of the house by 7:15….well let’s just say I need all the help I can get. And so I have found that making breakfast easier makes my level of grumpiness go down just a touch.

Here are some of my favorite, school time, breakfast go to’s:WP_20160807_18_34_40_Pro

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins
These are great because they can be made over the weekend (if I get my ass in gear and prep like the perfect mommies, ha!) and served for breakfast and afternoon snacks throughout the week. They’re pretty decently quick and easy and my kids absolutely love them, they are just sweet enough for them to crave and just healthy enough for me to feel like a decent parent….Here is the link to the recipe http://www.bigfitfam.com/?page_id=94

2.  Eggs in a Cup
I am not the biggest fan of dragging my ass to the stove in the morning to hang out and flip eggs while pulling shirts over baby heads and yelling about lost shoes. Therefore I eschew the hippy notion that the microwave is evil and ditch my pans during weekday breakfast. Instead, when I want my kiddos to have a hot healthy dose of protein I pull out my lovely silicone baking cups.  Just stir up one egg per cup, toss them in the microwave for about 30 seconds and VOILA! If you wanna get fancy you can toss some pepperoni in there or some salsa to spice things up.

3.  Bad Mom Breakfast
Let’s face it, we all have mornings where all hell breaks loose and even the simplest of morning meals seems like a 1950’s 4 course masterpiece from hell.  These days require a little extra slacking in the food department, which is why i keep a stash of Pop-Tarts and Quaker Dinosaur-Eggs Instant Oatmeal on hand at all times. The kids think they are getting special treat because they LOVE Pop-Tarts almost as much as they love to hunt for dinosaurs in a bowl of mush and I don’t lose my mind. Win-Win.

5. Apple Oatmeal Cups
This is another great recipe to make over the weekend to prepare for the evil mornings ahead.  They also freeze great so if you are feeling particularly ambitious you can plan ahead weeks at a time! Yeah, I totally don’t do that. I love these muffins because they are pretty super healthy and also uber hearty so the kids eat 1-2 and are happy to move on to the next morning task. I only make 12 at a time because they don’t keep as well as muffins so 2-3 days of them is usually perfect.  Here is the link (it is the second recipe on this page) http://www.bigfitfam.com/?page_id=94

6. Cereal Bars
This is another recipe to make ahead of time but it’s super easy and if you have older kiddos they can do it themselves, feeling like responsible big kids while you nap on the couch! I wish, lol. Simply take 6 cups of any cereal you choose (my personal favorites are yogurt Cheerios, Golden Grahams, and Cocoa Puffs-who am I kidding? I don’t buy name brand! Go to Walmart and stock up on the cheap stuff!) Then simply add your favorite nuts, chocolate pieces, marshamallows, etc. Make everything stick together using 1 of these methods:
1. Go treat style and melt a bag of marshmallows with 3 tablespoons of butter,           add your cereal mixture. DONE.
2. Take 2/3 cup honey, 3 tablespoons butter, 1 tsp vanilla, and 1/4 cup brown sugar all melted together in the microwave and toss over your cereal creation.
3. Mix together 1 cup light corn syrup, 1 cup white sugar, and 1 1/2 cups peanut butter and combine with your cereal.
When everything is nice and sticky, pour it into an oiled up baking pan (or line with parchment paper) and shove it in the fridge for few to make everything nice and firm. And you’re DONE SON!!!

7. Cereal
Pour cereal in a bowl, douse with milk. Ha! To make this even easier, set your kids up so they can do it themselves.  I prepare baggies with the appropriate amount of cereal and make sure that the kiddos have a milk jug they can handle without creating a milk lake in my kitchen. If you have particularly klutzy kids, like I do, you may even want to invest in individual resealable containers. They grab a baggie and milk and their special cereal bowls with straws (cause those are this shiznit and only $1 at Family Dollar) and they are feeding themselves! Mind Blown.

You are ready to “breakfast” like a champ! Now you just have to figure out where their left shoes are, how their clothes are dirty already, and find the homework they can’t remember if they did or not…good luck.

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