- “WOW! You have your hands full!” – Thank you,I didn’t realize this before you pointed it out. Yes, my hands are full, full of love and lunacy and everything in between. I hear this every time I go out and I simply don’t want to hear it ever again.
- “Are you done having children?” – I don’t freaking know, LOL. Obviously we have been crazy enough to keep on going long after most of society stops procreating so, who knows? It could happen, it could not. This question just forces me to feel like I have to come up with an answer now. Trust me, when I know, you’ll know.
- “So, which one of you is getting ‘fixed’?”- Um, none of your business? Taking away your ability to have more children is a BIG decision depending on many, many factors. It is also a very personal decision. When someone decides to pose this question, it suggests not only that they believe you should not have more children, but that such a decision as a vasectomy or having your tubes tied, is an easy and obvious solution to a problem you may not believe you have. I have had people go so far as to threaten to kidnap my husband and take him to get snipped….not funny. So mind your own beeswax and let people make this decision on their own, privately.
- “Wait ’til they are teenagers and eat you out of house and home!” – While this is not a malicious statement, it is one every parent dreads. As mothers, we are constantly attending to our children’s needs and hoping that we meet them appropriately. Being able to meet the dietary needs of teenagers, much less MANY teenagers if you have a big family, is terrifying. As parents, we are already scared and don’t need to be reminded of the fear. However, as parents, we will figure it out. We don’t have a set plan or savings account for teenage food, but we will find a way and that is that.
- “I don’t know how you do it” – We just do. Humans are great at adapting, you adapt to one baby, you can adapt to two, or four or six….You simply find a new groove. However, to be honest, I don’t know how parents of single children do it. We are all living our own idea of “happy” and we don’t have to understand each other.
- “How are you going to pay for college?” – Again, none of your business. Whether they have college funds or have to work through school, money matters are private and you should have been taught that by your mother!
- “What is your profession that you can pay for so many kids!” – No matter what our line of work, we will take care of kids. That fact that you think a high paying job is required to make a big family work is a little insulting to those of us who just make a normal, honest living. We simply make it work. We budget, we coupon, we do whatever we have to. We are fine, thank you very much.
- “Do all your kids have the same dad?” – Believe it or not I have actually heard this question more than once. This question makes moms feel like they have to go on the defensive. Are you calling me loose when you ask that? With this question you are basically assuming that to have so many children there must be multiple dads, which is somewhat insulting to both my husband and I. Whether our family is made of all the same DNA. combined from previous marriages, or there many different baby daddies, you should probably make this an “inside” question; as in, it doesn’t go “outside” your mouth.
YES, some people have big families. NO, you don’t have to comment on every aspect of big family life. We really are not so different from you.
- This post has also been featured on The Geeky Mama Blog. Pop on over and see her other amazing articles!