I’m not a big fan of reviewing my year for my readers….I can’t imagine that anyone wants an overview of the minute details of my mostly mundane life.
However, 2016 has been a year filled with ups and downs, unanswered questions, disappointment, new adventures, and a whole lot of love.
So rather than share my everyday life for the last 365 days, I would rather share some revelations from this year; the things that I have seen more clearly or loved more dearly.
This past year has been a difficult one in terms of disappointment for me. Though I have absolutely no control over the issue that refuses to come to fruition, I have been struggling with feelings of failure.
My husband, though always there for me, has never been more supportive or uplifting. He has been a beacon of light when I have felt so much darkness. His optimism has pulled me through sadness and tears and reminded me of my strength and ability to go on, to continue trying.
Big J has also spouted endless words of encouragement my way in this new adventure of blogging. He has quietly allowed me to overtake his computer, his work space, and his tablet so that I can spew out posts and attack social media. Rather than annoyance, he has presented me with pride and confidence in my abilities. When I have become discouraged and tired of the endless battle for followers and recognition he has inspired me to work harder, to be better.
If 2016 has done one amazing thing for me, it is having shown me what an amazing man I married and what a lucky woman I am to have been chosen by him.
I also have great memories this year of my family coming together for the first time in ages. My family is small and, over the years, we have become rather spread out, all involved with our own lives, our own triumphs and tribulations. The last time I remember all of us truly being together was the last Christmas before my grandfather passed. He was such a beacon of light and love, so quick to laughter, fun, and games, that I almost think we weren’t sure how to have another get together without him.
We have done better over the last few years, getting together for Christmas with the immediate family again, but the extended family has remained just that.
This year we came together to celebrate my grandmother’s 80th birthday. Even more than that, everyone showed up to give her their love and support, to offer their strength while she endures her own difficulties dealing with the terminal illness of her son.
It was truly heartwarming to see everyone go out of their way to make her day wonderful. I was overjoyed at her happiness to have so many people she loved go out of their way to be there for her. Even more so, it was amazing how quickly we all got to know each other again; conversations rolled easily and laughter was the best background music.
I hope that this time was not the last and that my family continues the bonds so recently renewed.
This year I have also realized that my “young mom” status, is quickly being revoked, and I’m not just talking about the fact that I am getting older. My children are growing older as well, and my oldest son is slowly but surely maturing into someone I cannot simply refer to as a “child.”
In many ways he is still childish; emotionally he still has a long way to go. But physically I realize that he doesn’t have too many more years before he will be taller than me. He has shown me great maturity in his love and care for his baby brothers as well. He used his own money to buy his 3 year old brother a present so as not to be left out of the gift exchange that my three oldest were able to participate in with school. He is also always the first to make sure that his baby brother is happy, cuddling him and carrying him around when I am busy with dinner or any other number of things that take me away from time with him.
My daughter as well, has grown so much this year. Where did the time go? How did I end up with children old enough to thoroughly express themselves and make responsible decisions? Where are my babies who need me for everything?
I am so proud of who they are becoming, what they do everyday to help me and others. I am overjoyed to catch a glimmer of the adults they will one day become, but am mournful as well for how little they once were…I can’t get that time back….did I properly enjoy it? Did I do enough, cuddle them enough, play enough?
2016 has certainly been a year of growth. between blogging and personal trials and triumphs, I have learned lessons and matured in many ways.
My husbands support has carried me to the top of mountains I thought would defeat me and my children’s love and advancement in maturity and physical prowess has made me realize how precious time is.
My own family has shown me that no matter how long it has been, love never dies and can always be enflamed. This lesson has encouraged me to connect more and to see that there are some connections from my past that I realize I don’t want to let burn out.
Thank you 2016 for every lesson you have given me. I am not sure I want to thank you for the difficult times, but perhaps those are by design and 2017 will show me the reason why…