10 Reasons I’m A Dreadful Parent

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  1. I often warm up my hands on my children…even the baby is not safe.
  2. I make my kids come all the way up from downstairs to fetch me something that is 5 feet from the comfy chair I am currently living in.5127279893_8de7bc35fc_n
  3. Sometimes I threaten to throw the kids into a volcano if they don’t stop fighting.
  4. I will throw self control to the wind on rough days and break out the candy early, then claim the kids can’t have any because it’s too late and they could get cavities.
  5. There have been a few occasions where an event we were supposed to attend was cancelled (ok, one time I just REALLY didn’t want to go) so I told the children we could not appear at said event unless they cleaned their rooms and did their chores…basically I chose tasks I knew they would fail at. Teaching responsibility is rough.
  6. I specifically buy cookies and candies that I know they dislike so they will leave my munchies alone.
  7. I make fun of them behind their backs…for examplewp_20150803_004-2, “Do you think the baby will be our most beautiful child, but also the dumbest?”
  8. 5, 10, 120 second rule….screw it. Dust it off and shove it in your face, honey. Unless food falls into something suspiciously muddy or wet I really don’t care if it was on the floor. Don’t waste it, it’s fine, eat up.
  9. I hate playing games with my small children. Candyland is an exercise in patience I don’t have. I do it because they LOVE it, but my OCD goes nuts and I require alcohol to muddle through without a freakout.
  10. Sometimes I threaten to cut my daughters hair if she won’t let me play with it….I have one daughter who only wants “hippie floats  in the wind” as a hairstyle…let me braid it dammit!

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50 thoughts on “10 Reasons I’m A Dreadful Parent

  1. If you’re a dreadful parent, so am I! I especially loved the first one, I thought it was only me that did that. My daughter inherited a very warm tummy from her dad, I make both of them act as my personal radiators haha! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday x

    1. Using them as heaters is the best! I was doing it all day yesterday because it finally got so cold in Colorado!

  2. I have used a few of these myself many a times! I always buy myself chocolate my daughter doesn’t like and I may have lied quite a lot when she was younger about the time to get her to bed early bbecasue I needed sleep/peace myself
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    1. For sure! there are days when 7pm rolls around and I’m like “bed time!” They don’t have to go to sleep (well the little ones do) but they have to at least stay in their rooms and read! lol -Brandi, Big Fit Fam

  3. Haha my eldest yesterday said “Why do I have to do everything” when I asked him to get me something, he doesn’t btw he just thinks he does but has NO idea!
    Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
    Eilidh x

    1. Mine says that too, lol. poor kids we obviously work them to the bone and do nothing in return! Thank you for visiting! -Brandi with Big Fit Fam

    1. Yup! I’ve got my 17 month old running things to the trash so he is on his way to being a little gopher! lol Thank you for reading! -Brandi with Big Fit Fam

    1. Hahaha! That’s awesome! Mine are too young for phones yet but you can bet i will copy you on that in a few years!

  4. Number 6 – yes! Sometimes I’ll put marmite on my toast just because I know I’ll get to eat the whole piece myself that way as no one else in the family likes it! If I have peanut butter I end up having to share with my toddler! x #KCACOLS

  5. Hehe that’s a giggle. Obviously a great idea to buy the candy they hate, so they won’t want to eat it. 🙂 Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam x

  6. Ugh. Candyland is the worst. Just when you think the game is almost over, the leading player gets sent back to the beginning. That game is why we started collecting other games. (Try Barbecue Party and Busytown for the really little ones. They get old too, but at least you can have some variety)

  7. This is so funny and totally brilliant love it Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  8. Haha, this gave me a good giggle! I loved the one about buying things you know they don’t like so they’ll leave your stuff alone!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

  9. Hahaah I love all of these especially threatening to throw them into a volcano. Where did you get that one?! Lol Smart move on getting the chocolates they don’t like, I’ll have to try this when my son is older. Thanks for the laugh and sharing with #GlobalBlogging!

  10. Haha, love it. I particularly love the snack part. ‘You wouldn’t want these … they’re spicy …’ everything in our house that is remotely tasty is ‘too spicy’ for the kids 😉 #ablogginggoodtime

  11. Well, if these things make you a bad parent-I’m right there with you!! I do a lot of these things, and I particularly loved the picture of you drinking a bottle of wine with a sleeping baby on your lap, and that you need to drink to make it through awful games with your children! I sometimes need to do this, and I even go so far as putting my wine in a normal cup, so as not to let the children get suspicious that I’m not actually drinking water-not that they are really old enough to know that I’m drinking alcohol because it’s in a wine glass…! I am also very guilty of buying treats I know they don’t like-because they will not leave me alone most of the time I’m eating, and it drives me barmy!! Here’s to the bad mums!!

  12. Ha ha, great post. I also claim toys are broken when I’ve actually just turned them off (my daughter can’t turn them on herself yet), I’ve also given my oldest jobs to do before an event I really don’t want to go to and figure it’s win win, if he manages to do it at least the job is done so he kind of deserves to go, but if it’s not then he learns a lesson and I get to stay at home ????

  13. Haha love this. My eldest is almost 3 and now I have a newborn to breastfeed I love that I can ask him to pass me stuff and he doesn’t mind (or maybe he does as he tends to throw it at me sometimes). Thanks for linking to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  14. Hahah I love this!! Me too! I am always warming myself on the children, they are so sweaty and even when they scream my hands are cold I still do it. Bad parent, but I’d be no use to them if I was hypothermic! #dreamteam

  15. I hate playing games. My husband keeps trying to get me to join him and my daughter because he gets annoyed playing just the two of them but I always have the baby to take care of or the kitchen to clean or anything really. I actually threaten to cut my daughter’s hair when she cries when I brush it. I’ve had to follow through a few times. It just gets ridiculous. #HappyNow

  16. I’m always buying treats for myself rather than the kids! I don’t mind kids games so much, but the second my son wants to play with play-dough I’m already making up excuses not to do so!

  17. Some kids games are the worst. Mine has got this modern version of Frustration which incorporates Penguins. He loves it. I hate it. With a passion! #anythinggoes

  18. Oh Candyland and Chutes and Ladders are like torture for me as well. When does it actually become fun to play bard games? Not there yet either.

    1. my 7 and 9 year are getting there…but i still can only handle so much before my brain explodes! haha. We did Chutes and ladders the other day with all 5 of my kids and i nearly died….

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